In Matthew 18:15 Jesus tells us to go to a person we feel has done us wrong in some way. We need to remember that God’s goal is reconciled relationships, not the victory of one person over another. The goal is not to prove yourself right but to heal and restore the relationship.
What makes a great church? I agree with the person who said, “Trouble and struggle.” But that is true only if churches and Christians handle trouble and struggle God’s way. How do we do that? How do we approach the person we feel has wronged us? How do we go to that person?
Here is “the way to go”: Go promptly, go personally, go privately, go positively, go patiently. That’s the way to go!
First, go promptly. Don’t delay unless it’s to pray or to seek Godly confidential counsel.
Second, go personally. Don’t send an email or a text message. You need to see the other person so that each of you can see each other’s body language and facial expression.
Third, go privately. Don’t do this in front of an audience. Find the time and place that works best for the other person. Remember that your motive is Christ-like love: total commitment to the total well-being of that other person. Any other motive is not pleasing to God.
Fourth, go positively. Go for the right reason. Don’t go to ventilate; that’s not love. If you have to ventilate, find another way to do it. Go positively: not to prove a point but to restore the relationship; not to win a victory but to reclaim unity.
Fifth, go patiently. It may take more than one conversation. You may need to “go” frequently so that true reconciliation can take place.
By the way, when you go you may find out that the other person has no clue he or she has done something wrong. The person may have acted in ignorance or simple thoughtlessness, as we all do on occasion.
You may discover that you have some confessing and repenting to do in the relationship with that person. If that happens it will be a good exercise for you in Christian honesty and humility.
Expect God to do great things. You are acting in faith and obedience. You are doing what God is blessing, so go!
